chris pratt
chris pratt

@prattprattpratt

I use my twitter for jokes mostly. But I use my Instagram for deeper more meaningful stuff like pictures mostly.

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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
Watch me and @annafaris do some of the following things this Thursday on #Mom on CBS: 1) ride horses 2) act 3) kill nazis 4) do jokes 5) do funny faces
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
What would take a normal team a couple hours takes my #passengersmovie hair and makeup team only 60 seconds!
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
My name is Burt Macklin... And I'm with the fuckin' F.B.I. Please follow my TV wife @plazadeaubrey Aubrey Plaza AKA Janet Snakehole. She is new to Instagram. πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ™πŸ˜‰πŸ˜Š She is going to post really weird and funny stuff. #parksandrec #burtmacklinyousonofabitch
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
One more still from the @vanityfair photo shoot. I have to credit the brilliant photographer @markseliger who discovered me wedged between these two rocks. It took him all day to pull me out. I had been stuck there for hours. I had barely enough strength to stare pensively into the distance. I mean, it was bad. Anyways. I almost had to chew off the lower half of my body to get out. But I'm not flexible enough. Bottom line. I could have died. But thanks to the brilliant photographer @markseliger I'm alive to tell the story, which is currently being optioned for a movie.
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
And here I am casually sniffing my knuckles.
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chris pratt
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I remember drinking this beer at the photo shoot and it tasted so good. Which reminds me of the time my friend from work went out with me for beer at this place on sunset about 17 years ago and brought a pitcher to the table and I said, "What beer is that? No wait don't tell me. Let me guess." And I sipped it. "Newcastle!" He was like, "Yah that's right...That's probably not a good sign Chris"
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
Here's me waiting for the photo shoot to start. I was like, "well guys, I'll just chill over here by my race car and rub my neck real quick. You know what I'm sayin'."
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
Here's me warming up after having to be in that freakin' cold ass water forever.
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
This is a picture of me on the cover of@VanityFair that water was cold AF. The magazine is on newsstands now. Is news stands one word? Is it newsstands or news stands? Siri didn't correct me and put a line underneath it so. That settles that. Anyways. You can go get it at the place where they sell magazines. Rite Aid or whatever. There is also an online version floating around somewhere. The article is very nice. Please read it. It talks about my upbringing and my faith. I remember seeing Heath Ledger on the cover of Vanity Fair when I was a kid. I read the article. Then one day I saw him driving through Hollywood. He had an awesome Ford Mustang. I drove a Suzuki Samurai at the time and was dead broke. Quick question... If a train of thought left my phone going 80 miles an hour due east- would it still be douchey to post more pics from my @vanityfair shoot?
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chris pratt
prattprattpratt
May this new year bring you everything you wished and hope--- WHAT!? You already broke your resolution!? Jeez man!! It's been 4 minutes. Guys. Cmon!!!
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chris pratt
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Anna: Good morning Me: Whoa! You look........ beautiful. Anna: Why did you pause before you said beautiful? Me: Turn around. Anna: Why? Me: Just do it. I wanna take a picture. (She turns around... I take this picture) Me: Look. (Show her picture) Me: You look like Braveheart. Anna: Oh my God. You're right. Me: Freeeeeeeeeeeeddddoooooom!!!
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chris pratt
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Here a young Chris Pratt poses on the red carpet wearing designer bunny ears and blue vest by Goodwill of America.
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