thefatjewish
thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.

  • Posts3 779
  • Followers9 526 K
  • Following420
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I'M GONNA GET THE TWINS MATCHING STAINLESS STEEL PANINI MAKERS
  • 7 224
  • 266 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
One time I tried to smell Carrie Underwood's hair from behind at an event and got choked out by a security guard named Rage! Super fun!
  • 2 825
  • 244 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I miss when Chris Pratt was husky and wore cargo shorts and had a weird Abe Lincoln beard, now he's got abs to his neck and wears suits
  • 8 132
  • 267 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
A card from a pharmacy won't do anything to quell the deep and undying hatred that your significant other has in her heart for you, but it's a nice thought I guess? (@drunkpeopledoingthings)
  • 9 093
  • 365 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I MADE LOVE TO A LASAGNA THIS MORNING.
  • 5 624
  • 261 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
She definitely asked to speak with the manager and is married to a former date rapist named Randy. (@sadmichaeljordan)
  • 12,3 K
  • 281 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I'd rather spend the day in a souped up Mitsubishi Eclipse with a high spoiler with my grandma, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Paul Walker, Toyko drifting across the clouds πŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌπŸ™πŸΌ
  • 8 386
  • 257 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
It's literally the cost of a fucking salad at Whole Foods if you get one hardboiled egg.
  • 9 196
  • 281 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
This dog is basically a rich power gay architect who owns a sunsplashed brownstone and says things like "is Susan fucking SERIOUS with that Michael Kors bag?"
  • 22,4 K
  • 327 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Obama is listening to Luther Vandross and getting all up in Michelle's ham wallet on gold silk sheets and parasailing and drinking out of coconuts and taking a few hits off a jay. He's so fucking over it.
  • 11,8 K
  • 375 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
ALSO I SNORTED A LINE OF GUACAMOLE AT THE SUPER BOWL PARTY TO MAKE MY FRIENDS LAUGH AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS FUNNY AND NOW IM FUCKING NAUSEOUS.
  • 5 999
  • 191 K
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
POR TI VOLARE > GAGA WITH A KEYTAR
  • 10,5 K
  • 289 K