thefatjewish
thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.

  • Posts3 822
  • Followers10 M
  • Following421
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
How is this the inside of an instrument and not an apartment in Sweden owned by a futuristic horny billionaire with white blonde hair named Bjorn?
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
@Malibu_rum brought me to South Africa to run on a beach in slow motion, because hot girls and dudes with sick bodies is sooooo out. YEAH @ZACEFRON I'M TALKING TO YOU AND YOUR WEIRD 12-PACK OF ABS. #epicslowmo #becausesummer Snapcode: malbu.us/snap
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I would run my tongue over Steve Buscemi's teeth for a frittata right now.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
This video of Katy Perry is whiter than Mike Pence snowboarding into a TED talk that's happening inside a Coldplay concert that's happening inside a farmers market while drinking a saffron flavored craft beer and being offended about something while wearing cargo shorts that were autographed by Jon Stewart at a live Daily Show taping and the pockets are filled with locally sourced conflict-free burrata (@versace_tamagotchi)
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Either that or be a tiny bead of sweat running down Sofia Vergara's butt crack and into her majestic fart box during a Bikram yoga class.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Mural of me in Australia by talented hunk @lushsux. Even at that size my dick is smaller than Scottie Pippen's. He supposedly has the biggest flesh burrito of all time. @webroughtwine
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
@delta please explain this and also the guy sitting next to me right now is watching Austin Powers: Goldmember and LAUGHING OUT LOUD and that should definitely not be allowed on a plane because first of all he's in public and secondly that movie is about as funny as a fire at an orphanage
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Another weird thing adults do: HAVE FUCKING CHILDREN ON PURPOSE (@marissamiller__ )
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
ROSÉ SEASON IS UPON US. Go to www.swishbev.com and buy that pink in either a bottle or a can (yes, it comes with the long straw) and embrace your inner basic bitch. Everything is 20% off SO DO IT NOW, DON’T BLOW THIS PLZ.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
No, that fedora will not make you look like Don Draper. It will make you look like a colossal douche canoe.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
It's like really really really shitty "Ocean's 11"
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Why do @JoeJonas and @DNCE have a new song called "Kissing Strangers"? Is it possibly because on my radio show he and @DillonFrancis, who were strangers, played spin the bottle and ended up touching tongue tips? NOT NO.
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