thefatjewish
thefatjewish

@thefatjewish

Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.

  • Posts3 790
  • Followers9 707 K
  • Following420
thefatjewish
thefatjewish
HE LITERALLY MAKES CARIBBEAN LOUNGE MUSIC. (@ruiner)
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I speak to about 12 people total, so am I ever going to call or text this girl in my phone that I poorly fingerblasted at Jewish summer camp in 1999 and haven't spoke to since? Probably not. BUT FOR SOME REASON I'M NEVER EVER DELETING IT.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
Your grandmother could change a tire in a blizzard while holding a screaming baby and drinking warm gin simultaneously. You take photos of your caprese salad so people you basically hate being friends with can "like" them and get crippling anxiety if they don't.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
WELL PLAYED SIR. WELL FUCKING PLAYED. (@pizzaslime)
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I will eat an entire log of cookie dough for dinner. Why? BECAUSE FUCK YOU MOM I'M AN ADULT THAT'S WHY
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I met a couple in Austin last week who named their child Frozen. YES, FROZEN. FUCKING FROZEN.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
You all looked great in 2000. Actually, not the guy from Blues Traveller, he looked fucking insane. (@bridgettobin)
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. THAT. ARE. YOU. AN. ACTUAL. HUMAN. BEING. ALSO. WHY. DO. YOU. HAVE. HANDS. LIKE. THE. GRINCH.
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
REAL G SHIT BRUH (not real G shit actually. I wore a turtleneck, khakis and loafers every day until I was like 13, I looked like a rich power gay architect)
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
THEY SEE ME ROLLING/ THEY HATING/ BECAUSE I'M THE OLDEST LIVING FUCKING MONARCH
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
I'M GONNA GET THE TWINS MATCHING STAINLESS STEEL PANINI MAKERS
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thefatjewish
thefatjewish
One time I tried to smell Carrie Underwood's hair from behind at an event and got choked out by a security guard named Rage! Super fun!
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