Contact 4 credit: Emailio.Addresstevez@gmail You can't get an STD if you never get tested.
One time I tried to smell Carrie Underwood's hair from behind at an event and got choked out by a security guard named Rage! Super fun!
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I miss when Chris Pratt was husky and wore cargo shorts and had a weird Abe Lincoln beard, now he's got abs to his neck and wears suits
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I'd rather spend the day in a souped up Mitsubishi Eclipse with a high spoiler with my grandma, Ol' Dirty Bastard and Paul Walker, Toyko drifting across the clouds 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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It's literally the cost of a fucking salad at Whole Foods if you get one hardboiled egg.
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This dog is basically a rich power gay architect who owns a sunsplashed brownstone and says things like "is Susan fucking SERIOUS with that Michael Kors bag?"
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Obama is listening to Luther Vandross and getting all up in Michelle's ham wallet on gold silk sheets and parasailing and drinking out of coconuts and taking a few hits off a jay. He's so fucking over it.
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ALSO I SNORTED A LINE OF GUACAMOLE AT THE SUPER BOWL PARTY TO MAKE MY FRIENDS LAUGH AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS FUNNY AND NOW IM FUCKING NAUSEOUS.
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